Years back when I was living in Ireland, I dated a guy who had had an extremely abusive childhood; his father was little more than a runt of a tyrant who had wreaked havoc in his family for decades. The truest tragedy came when the mother, who was the rock of the family, suddenly dropped dead of a massive heart attack in her 50s. The kids were left to pick up the pieces and reconcile whatever relationship to their father that they could, whom they resented bitterly. One night after having dinner with the father and youngest brother, an argument ensued over the dishes, which had of course been instigated by the father who then quickly left the scene. My boyfriend and his brother stayed arguing in the kitchen; both were ultimately enraged with their father, but ended up taking it out on one another. Arguing turned to shouts turned to blows, turned to an all out death match where blood was spilt and clothing was torn off of bodies. They fought until their rage, which was not truly toward one another, but toward their father who they felt they could not stand up to, was momentarily quelled. I watched it all in shock and horror, my attempts to reason them out of their anger utterly futile. I could see so clearly how misplaced their anger was, and how in not confronting the real tyrant, they were taking it out on one another. Fast forward to 2021 and the shit show that is covid: impending stricter measures and an 8pm curfew in Quebec, people unable to buy the basics like socks and mitts in the dead of winter. Measures that defy logic and are utterly decimating lives and livelihoods. Yet all I see are people blaming this on one another; blaming it on Joey who was so selfish, he actually had New Years dinner with his parents and a family friend; blaming Tina who is so entitled, she went for a jog without a mask on. Blaming, blaming, blaming. Why couldn’t you just follow the rules (that are ever-changing and many of which are not even based in science of any kind)? How could you be so selfish? This is all “your” fault, etc. etc. Blame coming from, I’m sorry to say, mainly middle-class, two-income folk who don’t see the issue with calling the police on their neighbours or the possibility of “passports” for the vaccinated, because they just want their kids back in their extracurriculars so they can finish the renovations they started during the first lockdown. I see very few people holding the government accountable, and those who do tend to very quickly get strung up for being conspiracy theorists and granny killers. Questioning authority has become an utterly audacious act, likely to get you “cancelled”, or at the very least, unfollowed. Proposing that governments use moments of chaos as opportunities to change laws and slowly erode our rights is no longer a fact grounded in history, but a tinfoil hat conspiracy. I don’t care which side of this divide you land on, I really don’t; I care that this situation is making citizen turn on citizen rather that making us stand up and question those in charge. There are currently less that 5000 people across Canada who are hospitalized due to covid. Why are we blaming one another for this rather than being enraged that an enormous country like Canada has a healthcare system that is already so broken, it can’t facilitate 5000 more hospital beds? Why aren’t we enraged that nurses and other healthcare workers are burning out because their union rights have all but vanished since this all started? Why aren’t we rioting to demand change in nursing homes where the majority of deaths have occurred, because our government hasn’t ensured that the residents there have adequate ventilation, nutrition and hygiene standards? Why aren’t measures being taken to protect the AT RISK population, allocating resources to the immuno-compromised and elderly and allowing the rest of us to get on with things? Why aren’t we demanding that healthy food and ample outdoor exercise be made available to the entire population - or is saying that a strong immune system helps ward off illness suddenly too woo-woo? Why, whenever someone brings up the very real, very dangerous mental health consequences of long term isolation, is that person pegged as a snowflake who should just be happy they never had to fight in a war? All of this utter ineptitude from the powers that be, the ever-shifting narratives all supposedly based in “science”, no recognition, no discussion even permitted on the long term social repercussions of these kinds of measures, and then you want to try and tell me that this is MY fault for eating at a restaurant? Don’t gaslight me bruh.
I know covid is real, and I understand why people are afraid. But how we’ve gone about this has not worked, and it’s not because everyone else is just soooo selfish, and you’re the only saint who has been abiding by all the rules. These extremist and unnuanced stances are childish and contribute nothing to alleviating this situation. Can we start having real discussions about this topic, whether we agree on every point or not? Is that even possible anymore? Are we capable of intelligent debate that doesn’t denigrate the other party or turn into a mudslinging match? Can we get fucking pissed at the government and the state of our healthcare system and demand real, lasting change, instead of turning on each other? Can we? After all, it’s not really each other that we’re angry with.